faithanddagger:

I don’t care who you are. If your girlfriend falls asleep in your lap, and even after 30 minutes when both of your legs go numb, don’t move. You fucking stay there and appreciate the cute little thing in your lap. If you move you’re weak and natural selection is coming for you.

(via kitty-in-training)

fairhies:

If I reply with “oh” I either don’t give a fuck or I feel like i’ve been punched in the throat

(via pendents)